Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Bloggers in Wonderland Part 4: Blue Monday
"Blogs are gay." - Daddy
Monday afternoon.

At this point most of the bloggers were on their way home or already home. Some had the flu and others were flooded with memories that they'll have forever. I had some good times this past event. It's hard for me to say which one of the three was the best or where I had the most fun. Each one was unique but this past one was a lot of fun for me. I looked it as a perfect chance for a celebration of one long year in poker with some of my best friends. These events are what you make out of it. I set out to have fun and I did.

I woke up Derek. It was 2pm. He said he was drinking until 11:30am with the Heads and StB. He got up and showered before we headed to the Italian place for lunch with Jaxia.

We told the Spacemans and Byron to meet us there. It turned out that Byron won the Sahara 11am tourney. He tried to call me that morning, but my phone was turned off. I dunno if I could had made it if I tried. We were up until 7am playing cards and I was spent after four straight nights of hardcore partying. Anyway, Byron was the dude of the hour and became the third blogger to win a Las Vegas tournament within 24 hours. CJ was first at the MGM on Sunday night, followed by F Train and then Byron at the Sahara. This is the same tourney that Grubby and I have played in almost 20 times combined and neither of us has made it past the final two tables and not one cash. It's a tough tourney. Byron was excited. He had plans to use some of his winnings for gifts.

Anyway, the food at the Italian place was awful. The meatball parm was a big mistake. Jaxia barely ate her pizza. She order jalopenos on one then took off all the peppers.

"I like the juice," she explained.

I bet Derek $1 he couldn't eat all the jalopenos Jaxia scraped off. He looked at me like I was a moron and finished the rest of his bad lunch.

At least the iced tea was good.

We retreated to the poker room to play until Jaxia's flight. I sat at the same $4/8 table with Derek, Alan, Bobby Bracelet, Jaxia, and Spaceman. One dude was a dick to Spaceman, which he spoke about in a story. Shit, even Iggy eventually woke up and sat down to play. A few hours earlier he was nearly escorted out of the third floor poker room by security. That seemed a lifetime ago. April was on her way out to the airport and she gave Jaxia all of her tickets. During Monday Night Football, the poker room does a drawing at the end of each quarter and whenever someone scores. You can win a bunch of prizes. You earn tickets by getting full houses and flushes and stuff like that.

Byron went shopping and when he came back he got me and Derek a funny lighter that was shaped as a pig. It was hilarious and I had to leave it at Grubby's apartment because the fucktards at homeland security have a hard on for items shaped like pigs. It's on the new list of banned items next to Dan Brown novels and pencil sharpeners.

Byron sat down as did Mrs. Spaceman. She was at Travis' table. Travis wanted to go get some food at the burger joint, which wasn't too bad. It's next to the sports book. Anyway, he gave me his tickets to watch for him.

"If I win, make sure you get the robe."

I was in the middle of a hand.

"A what?"

"A robe," he repeated.

"What the fuck do you want a robe for?" I snapped while I folded my cards.

"So I can wear it at home when I'm playing online poker. It's cold in Canada, ya know."

I laughed. A robe it is. You had a choice of t-shirts, hats, magazines, and a robe if your ticket got called. Travis wanted the robe.

He came back from dinner and although they called two numbers, none of them were his. Jaxia and I kept getting so close. We'd be off by one number everytime. An hour later, somewhere around the third quarter, the poker room manager called a number.

"I win!" shouted a guy in a Canadian accent.

I looked up and saw Travis standing up. He walked right over to the table and picked up his prize. Behold... the robe.

It's awesome when good things happen to good people. Travis wanted the robe and he got the fuckin' thing. He even wore it for an orbit. That's awesome. One of the highlights of my weekend.

I don't recall too much about the poker that night aside from the fact that Jaxia built up a nice stack and one older guy at the far end was killing the table. Everytime he and I were in a hand together, I'd shout out, "Be careful of the debonair gentleman in the second seat."

It was a fun table except from one local in a fishing hat who had a two week beard and coke-bottled glasses. He called everything to the river. I wanted to shoot him for cracking my aces. At the Excalibur you get to spin the wheel. At the Imperial Palace, you get kicked in the junk and have to take it like a man, unless they have cookies out. Then you get to have a stale cookie while you massaged your swollen testicles.

Getting kicked in the junk by a guy who can't see his flush on the board is insulting. If he didn't keep diggin back into his pocket to rebuy, I'd be pretty pissed. As is, he lost all the money he won. At least Travis won the robe.

Jaxia had a late night flight to catch, so we ended the game. We said our tearful good-byes. As it turned out her flight was an hour plus delayed something she found out when she got to the airport. She never bothered to call and that cost her a good hour of playing cards with Alan, Derek, Iggy, and myself.

Derek, Iggy, Mr. & Mrs. Spaceman and I decided on dinner after a lengthy deliberation. We couldn't figure out where to go and ended up at Outback. We were stuffed by the time the main course came. I love bloomin' onions. Iggy and I got the same filet with bleu cheese melted on top. Well I got mine melted. Iggy pussed out and got it on the side. We had a ton of fun at dinner and reflected on the weekend. The highlights. The lowlights. The rumors. The Daddy quotes. Everything.

I went to bed rather early. It was only 3am and I had to be at the Bellagio for work by noon the next day. I already fucked up and skipped the first day of the Five Diamond Classic. I thought it started a day later. I lost a day in there during my four day bender. Oh well. I'd miss the first day of any tournament to hang out with some of the finest people I know.

I'm sure I'll have an after-post. But for now, I'd like to thank everyone I met for being cool. I had an amazing time and got to meet a ton of new people. Everyone had kind things to say about my grandmother's death and it felt good to be around a group of caring people at a tough point in my life.

I also have to thank the Poker Prof for all his behind the scenes work. Special thanks goes out to Bill Rini for organizing the entire thing. It's thankless work and he did a tremendous job. Also thanks to the Imperial Palace and their entire poker staff for their hospitality. Thanks to Flipchip for taking photos during the tournament. Along with the MGM for putting up with our antics and to Joaquin for setting up the mixed games. Also thanks to Otis and Poker Stars for adding the extra cash to the prize pool and all the free gear. Thanks to Full Tilt for their help with the shootouts and the free stuff and for giving the Poker Geek a job. Thanks to Charlie Shoten for speaking again, along with Michael Craig and Barry Greenstien for their time. As well as thanks to Linda for getting Barry to come by along with Joe Sebok. It was also cool that Paul Phillips and Brandon Schaefer stopped by the MGM to play with us. And thanks to Phil Gordon for getting his ass whooped in Roshambo by Mrs. Head. Also thanks to Trump Josh to stocking AlCantHang's suite, and to AlCantHang for getting the penthouse suite. Thanks to Change100 for grabbing my junk. It's now been at least once confirmed as I challenge Bobby Bracelet for the most confirmed junk. Thanks to the Excalibur who put up with our craziness once again, especially the poor pregnant dealer who Bad Blood punched (by accident.) Thanks to everyone who brought their friends, family, and spouses so they can catch a glimpse of our special friendships and watch me lose my shirt in Pai Gow. Thanks again to everyone who participated and put their busy lives on hold for a few days to hang out and meet their favorite bloggers. This trip report could not have been possible without all of you guys. Our memories have been burned into my brain forever.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I'll end this post with some random images from that wild weekend. Here you go. You can click on the pictures to enlarge them.


Thanks Bill!


"Dude, I just met Bonuscode Iggy!"


Mean Gene wonders if any of these men are assassins.


"Do I get the bald guy discount?"


Whiskeytown begins the prayer service








The tournament dealers


Final Table featuring Sweet Sweet Pablo


In the shadows


"Cocaine in a can, baby!"


Derek, Bobby Bracelet, Spaceman, Pauly


See ya!

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